Archive for February, 2009

Gordon Brown’s words of condolence to David Cameron

Of course we are not alone in our grief and we share our sadness with David Cameron who lost his six year old son yesterday and with Gordon Brown who also lost his daughter back in 2001 just a few days after she was born.

Letter to the head of our community.

Dear G*****,

Thank you for agreeing to help us with the funeral of our baby girl, Roxanne. We understand it is a lot to ask and we are very grateful and honored for your assistance.

Please do not think we are asking you to be a minister or priest, we understand completely that this is unusual for you, we ask only that you can offer some words on behalf of yourself and all the other residents of P******.

My poor baby girl is dead.

I’ve spent the last year and a half on a journey of what I hoped would be self improvement. I gave up the booze, I’ve tried to be a good husband, I’ve learnt to control many of my fears and I’ve prepared myself for being a father. This blog was all part of the process.

Having the discipline to write, just write without too much judgement, without trying to prove anything, to just put it out there and keep putting it out there.

Getting it right as a first time father.

I’m no daddy blogger but I think I can be forgiven a few posts on upcoming fatherhood.

With only a few weeks to go thoughts turn to the birth. How will I cope? Male friends have been pretty hopeless on the subject of pregnancy, childbirth and fatherhood in general. “You’re never going to sleep again” does not count as practical information.

Here’s a list of things to do and ways to be for a first time father during childbirth. I will follow my own advice and in a few weeks I can report back on my success or lack thereof.

Soundtrack for a first time mum.

So we’re three weeks and counting til our first baby and my dear wife, control freak that she is, has prepared well. She already has three separate play lists of music for her stay at the hospital. This is good as I will now have something constructive to be in charge of during the car journey and labor. Of course I will no doubt get that wrong too, but hey, that’s what “being the man” is all about during pregnancy.

Goody, Johnson and Cyrus – Fear and Loathing continued

Less than a week ago I published a post discussing why there seemed to be an increase in “celebrities in trouble” stories at the moment. I wasn’t a 100% convinced by my own theory at the time, but  her we are, not more than a week later, and we now have three more public figures getting a kicking for, lets face it, pretty much fuck all.

Call a spade a spade.

I like the expression “call a spade a spade”. It’s great for cutting through the shit and telling it like it is (or how it is to me). It’s good to be well briefed so I googled it to check that I wasn’t using an expression with any racial slurs and found this.

…the expression to call a spade a spade is thousands of years old and etymologically has nothing whatsoever to do with any racial sentiment.

All you need to know about this f**cking financial crisis.

Finding it hard to get your head round the ins and outs of this global financial crisis? Well, if you live in the UK the root cause became pretty dam clear today.

Could you try and have a vaguely original idea?

Ok there’s nothing new under the sun, but really have we come to the point where copywriters get paid to just completely rip off somebody else’s idea?  This Haribo ad is such a copy of the Will Ferrell skit that I’m surprised they don’t get sued for copyright infringement.

On a happier note I offer you this old add from Molson (I know, I know old news to many of you) which harks back to a time when ads were worth watching.

Michael Phelps pot “scandal”

Following the photo of Phelps apparently smoking pot through a bong Kellogg’s have dumped the athlete from their promotions saying he “was not consistent with the image of the company.”

What, What, WHAT!?! The man should be given another 8 medals. This guy is beyond super human. I’m such a lightweight that I can’t even speak after a joint while this guy can toke AND win 8 Olympic golds.

Carlos Tevez’s Bentley seized by police.

Am I alone in thinking “Carlos Tevez in a Bentley…really?” I can’t think of a less likely choice of car for the aesthetically challenged rugged Argentine. I couldn’t have dreamt up a more ludicrous image of Manure’s frontman and his car than this one.

Clarkson, Thatcher & Bale – Fear and Loathing

I’ve come to a realization regarding some of the minor news stories circulating at the moment. Such is my loathing of rolling news that I have found it necessary to look behind the news items to get some sort of perspective on the current climate, the stories themselves are rubbish.

There seems to be an increase in “celebrities in trouble” stories lately. The three at the moment are Carol Thatcher’s “racist” comment, Jeremy Clarkson’s “one-eyed” comment in the UK and Christian Bale’s outburst in the States.

5 Reasons to hate this ad

On the whole ads don’t faze me anymore… but there are always exceptions and this one gets right up my nose.

1. Who the hell uses instant messaging to resolve their personal relationship problems!?

2. Do women usually complain about their partners pursuing their dream job?

3. Is losing broadband connection a frequent occurence in mainland UK? He’s not in bloody Kabul is he.

4. Having lost connection how about using one of those new fangled communication devices… a telephone, or don’t they have those in the countryside.

5. BT… they’re crap. Always at the rear of modern innovation. An example of British mediocrity. Since writing this BT’s share price has taken a dive after a profit warning… good.

And relax… better.

6 tips for surviving the depression of a recession

Scary isn’t it. Markets in free-fall and banks with no money. Who the hell’s in charge? Breathe… that’s it and again. Much better, now read these tips to staying positive in the depression of a recession.